Cornballer Bad Hands Play of the Week

Today marks the beginning of another weekly segment I'm calling the "Cornballer Bad Hands Play of the Week."

The "cornballer" is a reference to a recurring joke from Arrested Development, a very funny, very underrated TV show that you can watch on Netflix. If you get it, good for you. If not, just keep reading; the rest of this will still make sense.

The whole "bad hands play" thing is just a play on the play of the game that All State sponsors, except the ones I pick will mostly a little funnier.

This past weekend was arguably the craziest college football has ever seen. Eleven teams in the Top 25 lost, and now the current AP Poll is a who's who of any undefeated teams the voters could scrounge up.

But amidst all of the insanity happening earlier in the day, Arizona State and Southern Cal delivered to us simultaneously one of the weekend's best plays and worst plays.

I have no words.

Oh, wait, I found them. What the heck was that Southern Cal defender doing? #10 looked like he was fielding a punt. Go up and swat the ball down!

Props to the Sun Devils receiver for going up and getting ball, he did exactly what you're supposed to do as a receiver, and he played that ball about as perfectly as I've ever seen on a Hail Mary.

But he wasn't even touched. That's Pac-12 defense for you.

My favorite part is the Arizona State quarterback falling face-first on the ground after the emotional exhaustion swept over him.

USC clearly didn't watch the Auburn-Georgia game from last year, otherwise they would know that when a Hail Mary pass is falling toward you, you KNOCK IT DOWN.

Don't swat it up, and definitely don't stand there waiting for the ball to come to you.

That ball wasn't a Southern Cal scholarship, it wasn't just going to land in his lap.

Auburn Is For Real

It was a dominant win. It was a satisfying win. It was an emotional win.

It wasn’t the win anyone was expecting, but something so much better.

For the first time in 15 years, Auburn was tougher and more physical than LSU for four quarters. From the opening kickoff to the final whistle, Auburn imposed its will on an inexperienced but still talented LSU team, and never let them anywhere close.

For the first time all year, Auburn played a complete game, dominating all facets of the contest.

Just seven-point favorites in a game in which Auburn desperately needed to make a statement, Gus Malzahn and his made the biggest and best statement possible en route to Auburn’s most impressive conference win since 2004.

Last season wasn’t a fluke. Auburn is for real, and they’re not going anywhere.

This season in the SEC has been, at best, utterly unpredictable. Anyone can beat anyone, and there have already been countless twists and turns.

It’s a legitimate possibility that Ole Miss and Kentucky could play for the SEC title game. Or Mississippi State could square off with Missouri in Atlanta.

And amidst all of the madness and fickle landscape of the rankings, combined with the nightmarish nature of its schedule, Auburn needed to take a win at the start of a grueling SEC lineup to close the season.

Auburn did us one better. They came out of the locker room on a mission, tired of being underestimated by everyone else, and tired of losing to LSU.

Before last night, Auburn lost six of its last seven meetings with the Bayou Bengals. And that one victory came with a little help from a guy named Cam Newton.

But this time, Auburn didn’t need Cam Newton. They’ll be just fine with Nick Marshall.

The clutch senior quarterback was in complete control of the game from the first snap, when he took a draw play up the middle for 18 yards. From there, he and the Auburn offense ran away with it.

The unit many feared was starting to struggle rolled up 556 yards, 298 rushing and 268 passing, putting together its most complete performance since Malzahn took the helm last year. Its 41 points were the most Auburn scored against LSU since 1999, a 41-7 victory in Baton Rouge.

And let’s not forget about the defense.

Auburn’s defense is playing the best football I’ve seen since the beginning of the 2008 season. Through five games now, the Tigers are giving up only 306 yards and 14 points a game, the best mark through five games since 2008 for an Auburn defense.

That defense gave up 246 yards and ten points per contest through the first five weeks. The difference was how terrible the offense was that year.

Last night, Auburn’s defense was fast, aggressive, and smart. They held LSU to just 280 total yards, seven points, and a completion percentage of 33. And the most impressive stat of the night? LSU didn’t convert a single third down on 13 attempts.

Still playing musical chairs at quarterback, Les Miles pulled true freshman Brandon Harris halfway through the third period in favor of struggling sophomore Anthony Jennings, though he didn’t fare much better.

From start to finish, Auburn’s defense was clogging up the middle, pressuring whoever the quarterback was, swarming to the ball, and never yielding.

All in all, it was about as perfect of a game as we could have asked.

When all is said and done, we might look back on this game as the most important of Auburn’s season, for a few reasons.

A 1-6 record against them from 2007 to 2013 in mind, LSU has always been a major stumbling block for Auburn. I was a student at Auburn for four years, and I only saw one victory against LSU. Since the turn of the century, Auburn was 5-9 against the Bayou Bengals before last night.

It was time to reverse that trend.

But it wasn’t just a grudge match. More than it usually wants to beat LSU, Auburn needed a convincing win for the sake of its momentum moving forward.

With the road matchup against Mississippi State this weekend looming larger than anyone likely expected, Auburn very much needed to come out with some fire. Had Auburn laid an egg against LSU, I would have my doubts about Auburn’s chances over the next six weeks.

But as it is, Auburn pulled off the unexpected yet again in its dismantling of LSU.

Auburn needed to make a statement, and make a statement it did.

It truly was a perfect storm for Auburn. The offense caught fire exactly when it needed to, and the defense played its best game yet.

Everything fell into place for Auburn, and the rest of the nation got to see what can happen when this team is in sync.

Gus Malzahn’s offense has always been a force to be reckoned with, and if the defense can sustain its current level of play, the Auburn Tigers could develop into an even better team than it was at the end of last season (as hard as that is to believe).

I’m not saying for a second that Auburn will win every game left on its schedule by 34 points. That’s just an absurd notion, unbelievable at best. But I do think that the win revealed what Auburn is truly capable.

When they play the way they did last night, Auburn can beat anybody.

Auburn is for real, and they looked like the best team in the nation on Saturday.

Watch Out for Missouri

Did everyone forget that Missouri played for the SEC championship less than a year ago?

Last season, the third Tigers of the SEC finished 12-2 with a Cotton Bowl win, when all was said and done. Gary Pinkel and Co. did a wonderful job rebounding from a 5-7 debut the year before, and all of a sudden, Missouri was nationally relevant again.

Until the 2014 preseason, that is.

Before the August 28 season kickoff, the story of the SEC East was whether Georgia or South Carolina would win the division. Georgia was supposed to be the scary good team of the division, and the Gamecocks were returning enough talent and experience from last year’s team to be heavily favored.

There was also talk of Florida and Tennessee being improved, and making some noise. But no one was talking about Missouri.

Perhaps most people thought Missouri couldn’t replicate its success in 2013 after losing its senior quarterback, quite a few playmakers at the skill positions, and key contributors on defense. And it seemed like they were right.

Missouri seemed on schedule for another mediocre year, maybe 7-5 or 8-4.

But what most people discounted was the playmaking ability of Maty Mauk, a young quarterback who continues to show his poise each week. The Tigers also have plenty of young talent at their skill positions and on defense.

I’ll admit I was one of those people. I thought that South Carolina would win the SEC East, contested tightly by Georgia. I didn’t think that Missouri would have a bad season, in fact, I always considered them to be a dark horse contender for the championship game.

But I just couldn’t get over the hype created for South Carolina and Georgia. And like everyone else, I forgot about Missouri.

Let’s not forget, however, they don’t make a lot of noise to begin with.

Since the end of last season, Missouri has been flying under the radar, quietly taking care of business; and it could earn them a second straight trip to Atlanta.

Anyone paying attention to the SEC East should realize Missouri now has the best chance of anyone to win the division. Did anyone realize that Missouri is the only East team still undefeated in the conference?

Granted, they’ve only played one game, but that one game, a win over South Carolina, put them in as good of a position as they could have asked for in this muddled up East division.

Their win over the Gamecocks gave them a unique ability to run the SEC East table at the beginning of October, despite having one loss. Right now, Missouri is in control of its own destiny.

If the Tigers win out, they play in the SEC Championship Game. If they beat Georgia, they can even afford to lose a game. South Carolina needs Missouri to lose three times as it goes undefeated the rest of the way.

Florida, Tennessee, and Kentucky are all sitting on one SEC loss right now, and will all be making their cases for a spot in the conference title game, but I don’t foresee any of them finishing with a better record than Missouri.

The Tigers only have two ranked teams remaining on its schedule: a home matchup against 13^th-ranked Georgia next weekend, and a trip to now sixth-ranked Texas A&M in November. Every other team on the docket is an unranked conference opponent.

The way this season has played out so far, there are no absolutes. Missouri could very well drop a game on the road against Florida or Tennessee, and combined with a loss to Georgia and/or Texas A&M, the East becomes even more wide open.

But the way Georgia and Texas A&M both played this past weekend (close wins over Tennessee and Arkansas) tells me that every game on Missouri’s schedule is very winnable.

And their win in Columbia this past Saturday told us just as much about Missouri as it did about South Carolina.

Missouri is tough. They’re gritty, they’re resilient. They can win ugly games. They can win even when trailing most of a game with absolutely no spark on offense.

They don’t have to blow the experts away with their performances. As it is for every SEC team this season, a win is a win.

And it’s a good thing, because Missouri hasn’t exactly been overwhelming thus far. Their most convincing win was a 38-10 win over UCF, which was followed swiftly by a 31-27 home loss to Indiana the very next Saturday.

But they responded perfectly, as they always do, and burst back into the Top 25. Beating South Carolina in such a dramatic fashion proved that they can play with anybody, and they don’t care how they have to do it.

Watch out for Missouri, college football world.

They’re just as dangerous as any team in the nation, especially when no one is paying any attention to them.

Gary Pinkel and his team are in control of their own destiny, and they are perfectly content taking the season one game at a time.

They’ll stay out of the spotlight, taking care of business each week. And they’ll continue to fly under the radar, all the way to Atlanta.

Arkansas Might Be In the Wrong Division

The Arkansas Razorbacks are a good football team this season. Only time will tell how they’ll stack up against the rest of the SEC West, but they are certainly improved over last year.

Right now, they’re averaging well over 300 yards rushing and 45 points a game, and have been competitive in every game they’ve played. Bret Bielema’s tough, physical brand of football is gaining momentum in Fayetteville.

Through their first five games, Arkansas has looked like, at the very least, a bowl eligible team.

But they’re winless in two SEC games thus far, specifically against two SEC West teams. 3-2 isn’t a bad record, it puts you on pace for a six or seven-win season, but no win total looks impressive if you finish last in your own division.

And that’s a very real possibility for Arkansas this year, despite their noticeable improvements on both sides of the ball.

I have no doubt that Bret Bielema will continue making Arkansas a good football team, competitive every season in the SEC. But I’ve noticed something about Arkansas that has held up in all the years I’ve followed football.

Arkansas is a middle-tier SEC team. It doesn’t mean they can never have a great season or even a stretch of great seasons. It just means that in a typical season, Arkansas should put up seven or eight wins, but can seldom be counted on for much more than that.

Some of it has to do with their location. Arkansas isn’t exactly a breeding ground for high school football’s best athletes, and while it’s in a quaint little state, Fayetteville isn’t considered a prime destination.

But most of Arkansas’ inability to take that next step to national contender can be attributed to their membership in the SEC West.

If you put Arkansas in any other conference, they would be in contention for that conference title. They might even win it, depending on which conference we’re talking about.

I would even like their chances in this year’s SEC East.

But as it is, they’re in the toughest division in the game, maybe in college football history. There’s a chance they might be in the wrong one.

Every season now, Arkansas has to play Alabama, Auburn, LSU, Mississippi State, Ole Miss, and Texas A&M. All it takes is for at least three of those teams to be better than Arkansas for the Razorbacks to have a nine-win ceiling.

This year, all six of those teams are better than Arkansas. But because it’s a competitive division top to bottom, and Arkansas is no slouch, the Razorbacks could steal a game from one or two of those six teams.

Or they could lose every single game against an SEC West opponent this year.

Unfortunately for Arkansas, there is a certain limit to the success they can sustain while playing through the West gauntlet every year.

Since joining the SEC in 1992, the Razorbacks have had 12 winning seasons, eight or more wins in ten of them. They’ve won ten games or more just three times, all of which have occurred since 2006. But in that span, they’ve only won four of their 12 bowl appearances.

Arkansas will always be competitive, and will probably steal a win or two from someone in the West. But realistically, they will likely finish last in their division.

Being last in the SEC West isn’t a terrible place to be, and certainly nothing to be ashamed of, especially if the Razorbacks are bowl eligible at the end of the year.

But we all know that just playing in a bowl game isn’t Arkansas’s goal. They want to compete for the SEC West title, the SEC championship, and even a national championship. That’s why they went out a hired a coach who led Wisconsin to four ten-win seasons and two straight Rose Bowl appearances.

They want to make that next step to SEC and national prominence. But I just don’t know if it will ever happen while they’re in the SEC West.

If Arkansas is interested in conference titles and undefeated seasons, they’re in the wrong league.

Is This the End for Brady Hoke?

What happened to Michigan?

Ten years ago, they were a perennial Top-25 team under one of their all-time great coaches, Lloyd Carr. And now, Brady Hoke is scrambling to turn around a 2-3 start and save his job.

And it's been an ugly 2-3. The Wolverines were blanked by Notre Dame 31-0. They were shut out in the second half of a 26-10 loss to Utah. And this past weekend, Hoke’s squad was dominated by Minnesota (the Golden Gophers, not the Vikings) 34-10.

Those two wins? Appalachian State and Miami (OH), who have a combined 1-8 record. Not exactly what you’d call quality wins.

And to make things worse, Brady Hoke might have inadvertently, unnecessarily risked the safety of his starting quarterback, Shane Morris, in that loss to Minnesota.

Since the firestorm of angry Michigan fans, college football observers, and viewers of “Good Morning America” began, thousands have been calling for the removal of Hoke, and even Michigan athletic director, Dave Brandon.

The Wolverine fan base has simply had enough of Hoke’s incompetence. They’re tired of subpar seasons, especially when ten-win seasons were commonplace ten years ago.

It's always tough to see the collapse of one of the nation's better football programs.

Trust me, I know. I'm an Auburn fan, one who happened to be an Auburn student during the disastrous 2012 season.

It’s even sadder to see a coach who appeared to be a great fit for the program in the beginning slowly fade into oblivion amidst the school he loves.

Maybe the Michigan job itself was too big for him. Or perhaps he is, at heart, an assistant coach. Men like Gene Chizik and Ellis Johnson have proven that being a great coordinator doesn’t translate to being a great, or even good, head coach.

After Lloyd Carr retired, following 13 straight winning seasons, the Wolverines were left with the harrowing task of replacing a school legend.

Their first choice should be considered a total failure, at best. Michigan brought in Rich Rodriguez, the man who made West Virginia a nationally competitive football team. But his fast-paced, offensive-oriented scheme did not translate well to Ann Arbor.

The failed experiment resulted in a 15-22 record over three years, including a 52-14 thrashing from Mississippi State in the 2011 Gator Bowl, Rich-Rod’s last game and only bowl game on the Michigan sideline.

The hire seemed doomed to fail from the start. Rodriguez never really fit in Ann Arbor, and not just from a coaching sense. He wasn’t a Michigan man, a factor that carries a surprising weight in the hiring process for the university.

In a lot of ways, his hire was a strange one because it didn’t make much sense.

Brady Hoke’s hire did make sense. He was a Michigan man, one who had made it very well known that the head coaching job in Ann Arbor was his dream job.

He had an impressive track record as a head coach, particularly as one who makes bad teams into nationally ranked contenders, a quality Michigan clearly believed it needed at the time.

In seven seasons, Hoke led Ball State from a team who had never been ranked in the AP Top 25 to a school-best 12-1 mark during his final season. His next stop, at San Diego State, produced the Aztecs’ first nine-win campaign since 1971, during the 2010 season.

He seemed like a natural fit for a Michigan team struggling to find its identity after life with Lloyd Carr. In fact, in his first season, he led the Wolverines to an 11-2 record, including a Sugar Bowl win over Virginia Tech.

And from there began a steady decline. In 2012, he went 8-5 with a bowl loss. Last year, he went 7-6, also with a bowl loss.

The truth is, we should have seen this coming. Yes, he brought an abysmal Ball State football program up onto college football’s national stage, and yes, he gave San Diego State its best season in almost 40 years.

But it’s what he did apart from those two individual seasons that should peak your interest.

In six seasons at Ball State, Hoke only had a winning record twice, both coming in his last seasons with the program. Taking away the 12-1 season his Cardinals posted, Hoke was 22-37 through five seasons.

His first season at San Diego State? 4-8.

His bad seasons outweigh his good seasons. Yes, he made these teams good for one season, but in at least one case, it took him a long time to get there.

And let’s also remember that coaching in the MAC and the MWC is a lot different than coaching a team in one of the Power 5 conferences. There are tougher opponents, higher expectations, and more at stake.

Whether he’s just not cut out to be a head coach at this level of the FBS or not, Brady Hoke has lost control of his team.

I’m not here to question his passion. I believe that he cares about Michigan very much, and that he would have them undefeated and in the playoff discussion if he had his way.

But he can’t have his way right now, and he’ll have to pull off some kind of miracle to dig himself out of this hole.

The truth of the matter is that he got himself into this mess. It’s becoming clearer and clearer that Brady Hoke is not a good enough coach to handle such a prominent position like head coach at the University of Michigan.

It’s become clear that Hoke doesn’t have control of his own team. How in the world does he not know whether or not his starting quarterback has been medically cleared to reenter the game?

That would be at the top of my priority list if my team and I were getting our butts handed to us by Minnesota.

He has all but completely lost the trust and respect of the Michigan fan base, who now not only believe him to be an inadequate coach, but a reckless man.

Only a certain few will ever know the truth of whether or not Hoke really knew Morris’s true condition after (what should have been called) an illegal hit, but in the eyes of the fans, he knowingly put a young man with concussion symptoms back into a football game he was losing.

Actual concussion or not, he shouldn’t have let Morris keep playing.

They’re saying that the only injury he suffered was recurring ankle problem, but if he even showed signs of being concussed (i.e., wobbling and staggering over to the huddle), he should have stayed on the sideline for the remainder of a game they were already losing.

This really is sad to see.

Brady Hoke clearly cares a lot about Michigan; he can’t seem to handle to responsibility of such a high-profile job.

Back in 2011, I believe that he was riding the momentum of incredible winning seasons at traditionally mediocre schools, and came into Michigan with a lot of energy and enthusiasm, something the players and fans were looking for after the Rich-Rod disaster.

But after the energy and that high fizzled out, and the rubber met the road, we began to see what kind of coach Hoke really is.

Brady Hoke was the man who seemed destined to lift Michigan back up to the top of college football’s elite. But he hasn’t delivered, revealing a few areas of incompetence along the way.

It turns out that he is a 22-37 coach, not an 11-2 coach.

And it will likely cost him his job.